


A Vision of Fathers

by FeelSoHelpless



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, It's kinda sad, im sorry, set after philip's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 09:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16658371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelSoHelpless/pseuds/FeelSoHelpless
Summary: “Hello,” The man’s voice had a faint scottish brogue. “I am James Hamilton"





	A Vision of Fathers

**Author's Note:**

> I found this old draft with all my fics and decided to just post it. It's obviously not that realistic with the different time stuff like Alex's dad being dead when Philip died, but who cares about technicalities?

The somber household was silent. Not a single sound was made no one could truly handle it. The house seemed to be bathed in the black of mourning. Only for the household’s eldest son and his death in a duel, defending his father. Said father was locked away in his study, pretending he was working even if it was the farthest thing from his mind.

Alexander Hamilton attempted to put his quill to work, but all he could think about was his son. The smile that was almost always on his face, even as he was dying. How willing Philip had been to defend his father’s honor.

There was a firm knock on the front door and Alexander couldn’t seem to bring himself to stand to answer the door. He heard the light footsteps of his wife, Eliza, as she went to answer the door.

His sweet dear wife, oh how he didn’t deserve her.

Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton walked softly by her husband’s office. The door was shut tight like it had been just about every day since their son had died about six months ago. The only times he emerged was late into the night when he would slide into bed with her or to go for a walk around the city.

She walked further down the hall and towards the front of the house. She didn’t know who would come to their door at a time like this. Most people looked at them with pity, but didn’t utter a word.

Eliza patted down her mourning dress before pulling open the door. On the other side a man that had to be at least twenty years older than her, his hair was mostly gray but littered with little strays of dark hair kind of like her husband and he seemed familiar somehow.

“Hello,” The man’s voice had a faint scottish brogue. “I am James Hamilton, and I happen to be looking for Alexander Hamilton.”

Eliza could feel her breath taken from her at those words. It fit together of the little things Alexander had told her about his father. He had told her the puzzle pieces of his past in the dead of night.  
.  
.  
“What if I’m just like him?” Alexander asked looking up at his wife with unshed tears in his eyes.

“The fact that you are even worrying about it means that you are already not like him.” Eliza said gently as she reached over to him and placed his hand on her swelling stomach.

Some of the tension from his shoulders seeped out at the contact. His eyes were wide and she was sure that if there was a light there would be tears in his eyes.

“You’ll be a wonderful father.” Reassured Eliza as she moved to lie down, pulling Alexander with her. She wrapped her arms around him as if that would prevent any of his other doubts from creeping in.  
.  
.  
“I’ll check if he is available.” Eliza said carefully as she shut the door behind herself. She paused for a moment and took a deep breath before walking down to Alexander’s study.

Eliza knocked twice and waited for any sort of reaction, when there was none she knocked again. After a beat she could hear footsteps on the other side walking towards the door. Alexander pulled the door open quickly, only opening the door just enough for his head to stick out.

His eyes seemed to soften at the sight of her. The dark shadows under his eyes seemed more prominent in the daylight, and she was sure that her face looked similar. His face was gaunt, he had hardly been eating, it was obvious that guilt had been plaguing him all hours of the day and night.

“You have a visitor.” Eliza said simply. Alexander’s face twisted up in confusion, letting the door open a little wider. His study looked to be a mess of papers that were strewn all over the room.

“Who?”

“He said he was James Hamilton.” said Eliza cautiously. Within a moment a mask was on his face, hiding all of his emotions.

“I’m busy.” Alexander said, retreating back into his study and shutting the door firmly behind him.

Eliza sighed. She so desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. How was he feeling? After Philip’s death they had grown a bit closer and she had let him back into their bedroom. But at times it still felt like she didn’t know what could possibly be going through his mind.

Eliza walked back to the front door and pushed her hair from her face as she opened the front door. The man- no James, still stood on the other side. His foot was tapping on the porch and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. He looked up at the sound of her opening the door. It was like his face had lightened at her reappearance.

“He- He’s busy.” Eliza said as she wrung her hands together. His face fell and he glanced at his feet.

“Alright, I’ll come back another day.” James said as he gave a vague wave.

Eliza nodded and shut the door behind herself. She exhaled loudly and leaned against the door. What could be going through Alexander’s mind? Would he even tell her how he was feeling through it all? Probably not, but as long as he stood by her side that would be enough for now.


End file.
